Talk about a trauma trigger???

In 2007 & 2008, my Mom and sweetheart Ray died a year apart from each other.  Both of them were bedbound, in my care at home, and both had many, “on the edge of your seat” trauma events that happened BEFORE they actually passed.  Ray almost died twice before he actually passed away.  I was the ”ROCK” for both of them, but I lived in huge fear and overwhelm during their illness time.  I was all alone while coping with the burden of their care and responsibility.  It was beyond difficult!

Fast forward to now and here I am, a very effective Tapping coach.  I have done many hours of my own sessions to get past my limiting beliefs and emotions from years past and also from the traumas with Mom and Ray.  I knew there were still some underlying feelings that I hadn’t cleared out yet, because I still sometimes get triggered by the feeling of overwhelm.  That was never a part of my personality until after 2008. ( I just want to point out here, that when you are stopped in some way from going where you want to go, or having difficulty moving forward from a past event or situation, there is usually something going on subconsciously that feels unsafe at some level.)  I just knew I hadn’t cleaned up all that stuff from the timeframe mentioned above, but I couldn’t seem to access the rest to clean it out either.  I mean seriously.  Can you imagine how frustrating that position is?  My clients often get huge results,  I am their coach that got them the results, and I’m still stuck with past emotions???  It has been BEYOND frustrating for me!  The emotions and the trauma I felt back then, have been loosened up as much as I could up till now, but those times were the most intense, over the top, difficult experiences, of my life and I felt like I lost my life in the process while caring for them.  That is a significant feeling and if and when I get triggered and feel overwhelm, my energy and subconscious mind rears up as if to say, “are you CRAZY”?  Don’t go forward because you know what will happen when you get into overwhelm!  It could take your life!!  THIS IS NOT about logic.  Keep in mind that the FEELINGS BACK THEN were overwhelm, scared, dealing with unknown terrors, life and death anxiety which then caused fight or flight responses in me, and adrenal overload.  I was all alone and I had no help.  Is it any wonder my subconscious mind and energy wouldn’t “go back there” despite all of the work I’ve done in my own multiple sessions with multiple tapping coaches?  UGH!

Then the threat of “Sandy” came up and I was PROPELLED into a trauma trigger with Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD) panic and feelings just like back then.  I tapped and tapped without much relief.  I called a Tapping friend, and felt this flood of tears as I described what I was feeling and re-experiencing as I talked AND Tapped.  While in that panicky feeling on the phone talking to her and sharing the SAME FEELINGS from back then that I was currently feeling, something cleared and I got relief in a few minutes!!  The panic lifted, and from that point on, I was fine…panic was gone, and relief and ease returned.  Those big emotions came out of the blue because there was a parallel that was close enough to the same feelings back then to what was happening now.  I was again alone, in the middle of unknown storm outcomes, and the news crews were making it sound worse and worse, and it overwhelmed me.  Same emotions from back then.  Same emotions now, but I had not experienced that level of turmoil since 2008.

Unlike many others, “Sandy” was quite an exceptional blessing that helped me clear out more old stuff.  There is always more to the story when you get triggered like I did.  High levels of emotional feelings can create almost a fog like trance, and are from something in the past that is rearing up.  I am grateful for Tapping and how I could use it to pull me out of my emotional trauma fog.  While some may feel like the triggers I felt from the storm were terrible for me and yes, they were very uncomfortable.  I look at the episode as a blessing though, because it is much easier to clear out difficult emotions when you are in the height of the feelings than to go back in time and try to dig them up.  Can those PTSD feelings be completely released?  Yes and I have successfully done that with clients.  Did I mention how that frustrates me that I haven’t completely cleared that in myself yet????  Sometimes I think  I need a ”Joanne”, as my coach!

Have you ever had a time when you seemed to overreact to what was going on in the present?  Did this story and explanation help you understand what might have been going on?  Please share below and share this with others if they are confused about why they are reacting in a over zealous way.  Your sharing could bring understanding, hope and comfort!