I’m supposed to be grateful but I don’t feel it.

I’m supposed to be grateful but I don’t feel it.  That makes me feel even worse!

Holidays can be wonderful when you are in a great place.  But what do you do if you are hurting?  If you have had a loss, or a painful memory is surfacing or some trauma or tragedy has happened, you’ve lost your job, someone left you, something bad happened or you feel overwhelmed by life for any reason, this tapping is for you at this holiday time.

Doesn’t it feel worse when you are expected to feel a certain way but you don’t?  To make matters worse, you run the risk of being lectured because you don’t feel like “they or you think you should”?

It adds insult to an already injured part of you when you feel pressured to feel a certain way.  When I was going through a very difficult grief time and I wanted to feel better but couldn’t, people were loaded with suggestions, but none of them felt right to me at the time.  Why?  Because my feelings weren’t lined up with feeling good.  I just couldn’t feel good.  When it seemed that no one understood the deep pain I was feeling, I wanted to hide yet I needed to be connected too.  It was a very confusing and overwhelming time.  I didn’t even know WHAT I needed, but the pressure to feel grateful or happy made things even worse.

That’s where tapping comes to the rescue!  Below is a tapping script to address some pain that might help ease your feelings.  If you don’t know how to tap, you can find an instructional video on my website homepage or on my video page called An intro to Tapping.  It will show you how to use this fabulous technique and there is some anxiety tapping in that video as well.  If you have trouble remembering the tapping points, just mute a video and tap along with these words instead.  Always feel free to add in your own descriptions and words.  Ready?

Even though it’s holiday time again, and I would love to be able to enjoy them, but I just don’t feel grateful or in the holiday spirit.    I want to accept my feelings and ease the “should” pressure.

Even though I have all these uncomfortable feelings, and even THAT makes me feel worse, I release my own judgement about how I’m feeling.

Even though I would love to feel grateful but I just don’t.  No one else might understand and that makes it so hard on me, but I am going to pay attention to what I need right now.

EB:  All this sadness

SE: All this worry

UE:  All this overwhelm

Nose: I have some big emotions going on inside

Chin:  All this pain I’m feeling

CB:  Maybe it’s grief, or loss

UA:  All the pain that I’m feeling wishing things were different

Wrist:  It’s all just too much

Top of head:  Too much pain to be happy and grateful

 

EB:  All these difficult emotions

SE:  I’ve got a bunch of them

UE: This holiday makes me feel (fill in the blank for you)

Nose: I’m hurting and they don’t understand

Chin:  I don’t feel happy or grateful

CB: This is so hard

UA:  I wish this holiday could feel (fill in the blank for you)

Wrist:  All this heaviness in my body

Top of head:  It’s all too much

 

EB:  I hate feeling this way

SE: I can’t stop feeling this way

UE:  What if that is okay to feel this way right now

Nose:  It won’t always be this way

Chin: Oh yes, it will

CB: No it won’t

UA: What if I feel this way for the rest of my life

Wrist: What if I don’t and I could just focus on today

Top of head:  I don’t know what the future holds now

EB:  All this sadness & hurt

SE:  Maybe I’m angry or stressed at what’s going on

UE:  All this anxiety

Nose:  Holiday and family stuff makes me feel (fill in the blank for you)

Chin: I feel awful and that’s okay for right now

CB:  Too many emotions

UA:  I wish Thanksgiving felt (fill in the blank for you) but it doesn’t

Wrist:  and even THAT feeling feels horrible to admit outloud

Top of head:  I honor how I feel even if they or I don’t understand it

EB:  All this remaining sadness, or anger, tension and tightness

SE: All this remaining (fill in the blank with an emotion)

UE:  It’ll never be the same

Nose:  I feel all these emotions in my body (fill in the blank with the part of your body where you are holding the emotion—if you can identify the location)

Chin:  I miss  (fill in the blank for you)

CB: I’m not feeling grateful, but maybe I can ease this discomfort and pain a little

UA:  No I can’t

Wrist:  I can’t release this pain

Top of head:  It’s too much

 

Take a deep breath…. And don’t judge your reactions and emotions.  Just give yourself permission to

feel what you feel.  Only YOU know what’s going on inside your mind and body.

 

Continue tapping

 

EB: What DO I need right now?

SE: What would bring me comfort me?

UE: Nothing!

Nose: I want to be open to safe comfort

Chin: What do I need?

CB:  Nothing would feel good right now

UA: But what if something could help

Wrist:  Maybe some music

Top of head: Maybe to talk to someone

EB: Maybe I just need to hide out for now

SE: Maybe being with someone would help (fill in the blank for you)

UE: Maybe I could feel a little better for just a little while

Nose:  I can’t

Chin:  Giving myself permission to feel what I feel

CB:  Maybe I need to be sad or angry

UA: Alone or connected

Wrist:  I will figure this out

Top of head:  I’m open to what might help.

EB: I’m open to other possibilities that might help

SE: I will feel grateful when I’m ready

UE:  Right now, maybe I can’t and that’s okay

Nose:  Maybe I could watch something to help me feel better-an internet video, a movie

Chin:  They may not like how I’m acting but I can’t help it right now

CB: So what?

UA:  I want to honor what I need

Wrist:  Letting go of some tension in my body

Top of head:  Giving my body permission to relax a little or a lot

EB: Easing this pain a little more

SE:  Relaxing my body

UE:  Taking care of me in the best way I can

Nose: Until I really can feel grateful

Chin:  I’m okay right now.

CB:  I don’t know how to feel a little better or do I

UA:  I’m asking for help to feel better somehow

Wrist:  What if I could ease these feelings a little even for a little while.

Top of head:  Maybe I CAN find a way to feel a little better with this tapping.

Take a deep breath….

I hope this helps to ease some of the holiday discomfort for you.  You can tap through the points with this script as many times as it takes and change the words to fit you.

If you know someone who could use this during this holiday season, please share it with them.  You never know how this might comfort someone.

Sending love to you,

Joanne