Maid of Honor–a “resistance” story

Resistance.  Have you ever been resistant to do something that you wanted to do but were afraid to do?  Have you ever been asked to be the Maid Of Honor?  It comes with responsibilities!

If you are resisting those responsibilities, you can call it sabotage, failure, being stuck, procrastinating or any other descriptor you use when you seem to be stopped or blocked.  There is a deeper reason and a way to release it.

Think of what it is you want to do, but can’t seem to do, and say out loud, I don’t want to do this because______________.  What comes up in your mind?  Then ask, I am afraid to do this because______________.  What is your answer?  This prevents me from doing or being______________ and that protects me.

These blocks are actually trying to keep you safe.  If you learn how to work with them and release them, then your struggle will lessen and eventually be replaced with ease.

Let’s look at a client’s resistance story that baffled her.

She was raised to put on a happy face and push through anything and everything.  There was no other option ever given as an alternative solution.  After years of pushing through scary and seemingly threatening situations, she developed a pattern of social anxiety that eventually turned into panic attacks.  Many things had shifted after tapping, but then a wedding situation came up that caused her energy such confusion and the panic returned.

She was asked to be a Maid of Honor for a close friend, and although she wanted to want to do this, she hated giving speeches, didn’t really want the responsibility and stress of making things perfect, and she just didn’t want to do it.  The anxiety of her commitment, kept getting louder until it screamed at her!  She had hoped that tapping would take away her resistance but her energy system was in complete conflict because she was actually putting the needs of her friend before her own.

I asked her, do you really want to be in this wedding?  What if it is okay if you don’t and you can make that choice?  Thoughts and emotions came flooding up…but she’s my good friend, and I’d love to be there for her, and I can’t and shouldn’t say NO….I want to want to do this!!!  We did more tapping on those clues.  Remember, her pattern was to push through anything and everything without ever having a choice.  She may have wanted to do it, but everything inside of her was saying she didn’t want to do it.  Her job was to tap out the guilt, the embarrassment, the fear and the anticipation of the bride’s reactions.  Her anxiety and edginess would’ve eventually overflowed to the bride and groom to cause them unnecessary worry on a day that should be filled with joy!

Learning new boundaries can take some time to grow into.  Her life lesson has been to learn how to say yes when she means yes, and no when she means no and being safe to make those choices for herself first.

She did finally tell her friend that while she loved her, she was very uncomfortable with the responsibility right now.  She tapped on the outcome she wanted before that conversation, which was for her decision to be received with a loving and understanding response…and that’s exactly what happened.  She felt like a new person and was now free of the burden and the panic.

While panic attacks are an extreme response, she is not that unusual.  The best gift you can give to yourself is to follow your instincts and body reactions.  They are in place to help you, not work against you.

An interesting part of the story was that we also tapped on her feelings that her body was betraying her by creating nausea over this.  Her body wasn’t betraying her.  It was trying to work WITH HER as if to say, DON’T DO THIS because you don’t want to and you have a choice.  Until she was able to be honest and congruent with her own inner desires, she was panicked and feeling sick.

Our bodies don’t come with a manual, but the more we listen and see the signs, the more the flow becomes easier.  We’ve all been given those messages to just do it, and push through.  You can go that route, or you can honor what you need first.

When you feel resistance, it’s time to ask, why.  What am I afraid of?   What don’t I want to do that is protecting me by blocking my outcome?  Then use tapping to move it out until the relief comes or you figure out what it is you need to do differently.  You might need some help that I can provide when you are ready!