The coffee house shocker!

Talk about a coffee house shocker!

After a downtown event, a friend and I went to get an evening snack at a coffee house. Shortly after settling at our table, a young woman set up her “study room desk” on a table directly across from us. Right next to her was a gooseneck lamp which beamed like a spotlight right in our direction. I motioned to her to change the light since it was very blaring in our direction.

Her reaction was shocking! I wasn’t asking her to turn off the light, just to refocus it out of our eyes.  She immediately raged into ranting like a bully about how she never gets to do what she wants, how she has to study, and how she’s so stressed!

Last I knew, this wasn’t her private dorm room and I didn’t want to cause a scene, but I wasn’t happy with that spotlight in my eyes!!! Clearly she was in a space of overwhelm, panic and anger, and though it had nothing to do with me, I felt my reaction becoming center stage to what was supposed to be an enjoyable visit. The “energy” coming off of her was INTENSE to say the least, and it was projecting over to our table!

This was a place where you seat yourself so I looked for another open table, but every spot was full. Now what??? How do I deal with this uncomfortable light which I can’t seem to ignore and she doesn’t seem to want to address? Within a few seconds, she figured out how to have the light she needed and be considerate to us! I thanked her.

Clearly this young college student was over the top with stress and as we left, I really felt compelled to say something to her.  She didn’t need something else to feel badly about, and I wanted to leave on a good note.  I walked over to her and expressed how sorry I was that she was under so much stress but glad that she figured out a way for both of us to enjoy our evening.  She melted.  She apologized and said “I can’t believe how mean I was to you”.  I guess both of us were in shock over her reaction.  There was an immediate ease for both of us in that moment.

We are all interconnected and affected by energy around us.  It’s sometimes confusing and we can easily get pulled into “their” stuff.  I sure did in that moment of being disregarded when there was an easy and considerate solution. The evening ended with such a “human understanding” on both parts and it felt so good.

I told her about tapping because clearly, she is backed up with overwhelm, performance anxiety, college pressure and who knows what else. I thought she could use a tool that would bring some resolution and skill of how to handle all of it. I don’t know her past or what brings that level of stress within her, but I sure know that tapping can not only calm emotions in the moment, but it can release the reactionary response pattern that she recreated in a blink!

I don’t know if she will ever try tapping or go to my website, but for me, I felt really good about how we parted—as friendly acquaintances and connected in a good way! If ever our paths cross again, I will be happy to say hello. She’s got a lovely spirit that’s just bogged down with junk.

On a personal note, I was also proud of how far I’ve come with my personal resolution skill level.  I never really saw effective resolution skills growing up. I have learned, however, that by first releasing those automatic beliefs and emotions that used to grip me so tightly in an instant, I can be open to alternative solutions. I didn’t develop that skill on my own because it’s hard to see your own patterns without help in the beginning of the unraveling.  I had a coach, and I also tap on myself when something undesirable showed up so that I can bring change more easily.  My progress is something I feel really good about!

How about you?  What parts of your happy spirit have gotten covered up by knee jerk responses?  So much of our culture seems to be locked into the beliefs of “you or me”.  You win or I win.  I’m right, and you’re wrong or you’re right and I’m wrong.

I’d like to encourage a new thought and language consideration.  What about considering you AND me and the possibility that we could BOTH get what we want! Ahhhh! If you don’t think or react that way YET, then I would encourage you to release those old beliefs by getting a tapping coach, and learning how to emotionally make your own self-care a priority. It’s not selfish. It’s a way to encourage self-love, which breeds feeling good, which then overflows love into those around you. Unless you prefer feeling bitchy or afraid of feeling loving and balanced, it seems like a no brainer to me. DO the inner work because the reward is amazing!

Good luck in your classes, “K”!

How about you?  When have you ever overreacted and then regretted it because your level of stress took over?  Share your thoughts below.